I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
