I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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