i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The adults are the big ones right?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
