his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
