How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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