just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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