Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
