i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why do cheetos always look like penises
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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