went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize