dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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