The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
