Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize