y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
