They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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