I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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