I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
