They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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