i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize