So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it hurts more in the daytime
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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