maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
