1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize