3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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