What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize