Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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