He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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