so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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