It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
thus making me awesome and them whores
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
