oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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