Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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