my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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