do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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