I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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