and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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