Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
