So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
