Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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