wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
