I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
