So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
