ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
