I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
