she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
