it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
