I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
