imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
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Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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