I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
