$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
