if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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