i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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