Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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