I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
