Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
