We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
