i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
