I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
