ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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