Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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