she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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