okay pat passed out under dana's car
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
