Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
