You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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