Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
