He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want her autograph on my taint
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
