I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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